So, what do I write about when my heart is light?
When the troubles that beset me are temporarily resolved,
And the angst of the creative heart that often drives me as a writer
Is at the bottom of a very full heart?
I turn to God and I think he’s laughing to himself before his answers.
Why do I insist you to be transparent in your relationships with people and me?
Why do I guide you to seek what I know is best for you?
Why do I give you the ’angst’ (If I must use your word) in the first place?
Aren’t your struggles about putting things aside to find peace part of the drive?
How about longing to be the person you know I have created in you?
Why do you think I put music in your soul, heart, mind and fingers?
Why do you think I gave you a dream to reach people you won’t ever meet?
So you can find peace, and then share my peace with everyone around you.
So you had the courage to write your journey in black and white for people to love or criticize,
So you could minister with joy and leave the outcome to me,
So you can do your part of my work without your ‘holy dread,’ our burning out.
With a joyful heart I accept the gentle rebuke.
God, thank you. I get it. I’ll revel in this time of fullness, of quiet rapture.
If I am to live for you all my life, I must have these times
For refreshment and growth until I again come against the ‘angst.’
References: I Think I Lost My Why (Jo’s spiritual journey published this year. Available Amazon.com and on Kindle e-reader,
Check the blog pages to order from Jo Bower)
noun, a feeling of dread, anxiety, or anguish.