Controlling Obsessions

I got what I wanted.
A hand-me-down laptop computer.
Now I could work and play anywhere:
In my favorite chair, in bed, waiting rooms,
While watching TV, listening to music, or just relaxing.
And I did – every time I sat down, there it was.

I played a little,
But not being a big game player,
Because I could, I mostly worked.
Then, because I could work,
I began feeling guilty if I didn’t work.
I’d not factored in my past obsessions.

I’ve outgrown the laptop as files get larger.
After finishing a major project,
I splurged by buying an e-reader,
And added an elementary note-pad application to it.
It’s just enough to handle my journals.
I’ve decided not to replace the laptop.

My favorite chair beckons again without stipulations.
I read while I watch TV, listening to music, in waiting rooms….
Sure, my Bibles are on the reader,
But God is part of my relaxing.
And I find the bonds of pent up creativity
Gradually loosen and it flows freely when I do work.

I’m confining the writing obsession
To my big computer, the office,
And I’ve returned to handwriting my first drafts.
You may not yet understand what a step forward
This technical step backwards has become.
Obsessions don’t go away, they must be channeled.

And this I choose:
That a change of location signals the end of play,
And the beginning of work, or from work to play.
To allow God continue modifying my obsessive nature
And replace it with a good work ethic
That allows time and energy for my whole being.

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