Jo Bower's Blog

A Root of Bitterness

Hebrews 12:15

¹⁵See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; ESV

 

 So, this thing happens,

And I react with

“Here we go again.

They always treat me this way.

Why did I expect anything different?

What did I do to them to make them always treat me this way?

What makes me the step-child, the second class person of this family?”

 

And all along, the reason behind the action

Was not concerned with me.

Perhaps the motivation was selfish.

And I should have been considered more,

And the end, maybe that’s what hurts most::

That I wasn’t considered.

They’ve gone on,

And I’m left here hurting.

 

You see, a hurt in the past, or a series of hurts planted a seed.

And from that seed has grown a root of bitterness.

And I view what happens to me through that resident bitterness.

It’s not always at the forefront, demanding attention,

And sometimes I’m downright peaceful.

But then

 

This thing happens,

And I react with

“Here we go again.

They always treat me this way.

Why did I expect anything different?

What did I do to them to make them always treat me this way?

What makes me the step-child, the second class person of this family?”

 

God, help me go back to that hurt, or series of hurts.

And examine them.

I want to get rid of that hurt.

I’m tired of its menacing shadow over my life.

But it just keeps happening.

And I keep hurting.

I can’t fix this.

Make me willing to give up the hurt.

It’s influenced me so long, what will take its place?

Can you really replace it with peace?

 

Okay, so, if I believe you are who we say you are,

And I consider all the past work you’ve done,

The list of people in the previous chapter in Hebrews,

All that crowd of witnesses,

Maybe it is possible.

Change me, God.

Pluck out this root of bitterness

So I can see what happens to me through new eyes.

So I can see when what’s happening is because of me,

Or because people are who they are.

 

This is not going to be easy.

A root is called a root because it’s fundamental and deep.

It will be strange not seeing things through the eyes of being the downtrodden.

It has almost become part of who I am.

But, come, God, begin digging it out, patiently, without pain, if you will, please.

Okay, I know it will hurt some,

But I’m open. The root has a power over me I don’t like.

And it spreads to he people around me.

Begin now.